Well, it’s finally happened. I’m convinced my kids will not have a better future than I did.

It was the new Apple watch that did it. And let me just say, I couldn’t be happier.

When I was growing up, I knew, as did every other child in my school, that the future was going to be awesome. You already know the parts about how we all thought we’d have flying cars and jetpacks and robot housekeepers just like The Jetsons on TV. But more than that, we also believed we were going to change the world. The details were always a little sketchy, no one seemed to know exactly how we were going to change the world, but that didn’t matter. We were going to fly in on our jetpacks and make a better tomorrow for us all.

Now don’t get me wrong. I think the internet is great and though I never use Facetime on my phone, I do, in fact, have the ability to make a call and see that person on a screen while we speak. Oh, and my wife and I have a son who’s black and I’m pretty sure that back when my parents were young that would have raised a whole lot more eyebrows than it does now. Oh, and it’s also true that for many years, my job title was, “Trophy Husband.” My wife is the wage earner in our family while I stayed home and raised the kids, did the laundry, cooked, cleaned and drove my children to practices and lessons galore. So, yeah, that part of the future, the part where men and women have more freedom to do what’s right for them and not just what society dictates, that did get a whole lot better. Plus, TV is way better than it was. I mean, once I was telling Clay, Grace and Nati about how there was this show on called The Love Boat, which nobody liked, but which ran for ten years. Terrible, awful show. And one of my kids said, ‘well then if nobody liked it, why did people keep watching?’ to which I replied, “uh….it was the only thing on.” I mean, seriously, if you are under 25, you may not know this, but people used to watch test patterns on Sunday mornings till the cartoons came on. We didn’t have a whole channel for cartoons! We lived like animals!Continue reading

This morning I may have done the single most important thing I will ever do for my daughter. And then again, I may not have.

I went to Dunkin Doughnuts to buy breakfast.

To begin with, that’s lot more impressive than it may sound. If you don’t live in Southern California, you probably don’t know that there’s only one Dunkin Doughnuts store within miles and that it just opened up this week. And if you don’t live in Southern California, you definitely don’t know that the lines at our new Dunkin Doughnuts are so long, day and night, that up until this morning I was pretty sure that the surviving Beatles were doing reunion concerts there. (Come to think of it, would there be lines to see Paul and Ringo? Or would they have to give away doughnuts to boost ticket sales?) Continue reading

Recently I realized something of stunning profundity and wisdom.  It’s the sort of once in a generation insight that can instantly prove to be the gateway to a fuller, happier and saner life. Ready? Here goes.

Every two years I used to be idiot.

I know, it may not sound life changing, but trust me on this. It’s huge.Continue reading

I just want to check something.

I dropped my son, my eldest son, off at college yesterday.  When you drop your kid off at college now, people spend a lot of time telling you not to be a helicopter parent.  ‘You’re done,’ they say.  ‘You did a great job,’ they say, ‘but now it’s time to go home.’  And, just in case you didn’t get the message, ‘leave your kid alone.  We’ll take it from here.’

And I agree with all of that.Continue reading